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Someone has opened the SAHM (stay at home mom) vs. working mom can
of worms... so to set the record straight...
I happen to be a woman that has been at times, both a SAHM and a
single working mom. I do have to say that when I had to go back to
work, my childrens' grades dropped from straight A's to D's.
When my circumstances changed and I remarried, my new husband and
I made a conscious decision to downsize our home and live a more
frugal lifestyle so that I could stay home with my/our children.
That was our personal choice and it is working well for us. I went
from a 3,000 plus sq ft home to a 1600 sq ft home. Have we made
sacrifices? YES huge ones! But we feel that is was well worth it!
My kids are now doing very well in school again. To me, their
physical and emotional well being is just more important than a
fancy house and car. I do not define myself by the material things
that I have. To me, success isn't measured by that. But again... everyone
has their own priorities. I am just relating what has worked for
our family.
It's not so easy to be a SAHM. Where I used to live, I was the
only mom at the park. I sat on the bench and watched my child with
the nannies and babysitters of the neighborhood. When I ran into
another mom (on her day off) The first question she asked me was
"what do you do?" I told her a was a SAHM and she replied with... "Is
that all?... What a waste... Don't you get bored?" She knew from
the conversation that I had attended a prestigious University in
Boston and had decided to abandon my intended career to raise my
children. It really hurts me to think that other women think of me
as a useless and unfulfilled individual simply becuase I chose family
over career. Yes, there are days when I get bored. Why do you think
that I frequent this board so much? The mind needs some sort of
stimulation. But I am here if and when my children need me. When
my kids are all older there will be more time for "me." Right now
I am fulfilling the commitment I made to my children when I chose
to have them.
Before the working moms get all in a huff... I am the product of a
hard working mom... I did go to daycare at times, but my mom always
made sure that there was plenty of family time too.She was the best
mom around! There has to be a healthy balance and she provided
that for me. I personally have a few friends who do not have that
balance. One woman I know actually has her child sleep over at the
daycare woman's home twice a week becuase she gets home after the
child's bed time and wants the early mornings to herself "to do
errands". Trust me... I have known this person since infancy. She
doesn't have to work. I asked her why she bothered. She stated two
reasons. The first was that her husband refused to give her money
for her weekly manicures, pedicures and her shopping habit... the
second was that she couldn't stand the thought of being home all
day with her kids.
[ . . . ]
It's parents like this who give 2 income families
a bad name. It's very unfortunate.
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